Can we just stop giving excuses for these people ...? There's nothing wrong w/ them , their just a true...?

Probably not. Most times when a person is an Ahole they don't really care what others think of them or their behavior. They like to blame bad behavior on the job they hate, the marriage that is bad, or the girlfriend that is fat, or that they never get a break or that they had a bad childhood. You knew this about him when you married him but you thought you could be so nice that you would change him. You can't. Divorce him and let him be some other woman's problem.